Not working

[guanin]

Amount of studying done today: half a chapter on Venezuela
Amount of fic written: 1,500 words.

I feel both irresponsible and giddy at the same time. And I woudl continue writing, but my eyes need a break from the computer.

The only good thing about this flu thing? It finally has me reading the news. Though I don't like it. Don't the WHO people realize how panic inducing their phrasing is?

Comments

[visiblemarket.livejournal.com]

Hah. I spent like eight hours yesterday writing a ten pages paper on the Massachusetts Health Care Reform Bill and was about ready to kill myself. But had I spent that time writing fic, I would've had to tear myself away from the computer to even eat anything. Yeah...it's a bug, this writing thing.

As for the flu...honestly, if the WHO has raised it to this level, it's because it's absolutely necessary. Yes, it's going to worry people, and yes, it's going to lead to rushes on hospitals (which frankly will probably spread anything much quicker, if the hospitals aren't ready for it) but people are panicking anyway and if governments aren't prepared to deal with it...it's better that they're prepared to deal with it, and a WHO warning level encourages that.

[guanin.livejournal.com]

Honestly, I do have to take breaks to eat even while writing fic, but I'm a hungry, hungry person. All ,my friends are aware by now that I need regular feeding. But fic writing i so, so, so much better, Even when it's "oh god, this is so sad" angst.

Well, I'm on the verge off panicking, but only not doing so through my denial defense mechanism. As much as I hate to admit it, I inherent that hugely inconvenient worryness from the women in my dad's side of the family. These kind of crisis situations freak me out, especially if it comes up again and again and doesn't go away. I used to have no fear of flying at all, then some TWA plane crashed when I was eleven or something and the news kept going over day after day after day and now I can't feel turbulence without worrying. And I realize that I'm being silly, but these things really impress themselves on my brain. I already didn't do any writing or studying on Monday freaking out over this. I hate my brain. I need my dad to calm me down (now he seriously doesn't freak out at all), but he's not here.

[visiblemarket.livejournal.com]

...you've been writing something that is "oh god, this is so sad" angst? Well now I'm worried.

Oh, hon, trust me, I know the panic feeling. And this is a scary, scary thing. But as long as you're careful or a hermit this will end eventually. And the risk is really very low, especially in first world countries. Of course that frees us up to panic and feel guilty about our relatives, but...yeah.


ETA: So I put Pathology on my Netflix queue and it's supposedly arriving tomorrow. I place the blame squarely on you for that.

[guanin.livejournal.com]

Well, not today actually, but there was this very uncomfortable fight between the boys that made me sad, but it ends well. Thoygh I also wrote an angsty fic yesterday. And there's another in the works, though that one is also incredibly sappy. Why is it that when I need cheering up I end up wriiting sad stuff?

Hermitage sounds very appealing right now. I suspect that the hospitals are filled with people panicking that they have the flu and it turns out that they just have a cold or the regular flu. I guess I'm mostly okay but maybe I shouldn't be looking at the news so much. Except that I should because I never know what's going on. It's very contradictory.

Mind you, I've always told you that it's crap. Because it is. But Milo is pretty.

[visiblemarket.livejournal.com]

*sigh* I think it's because when you need cheering up it's because you're upset, and that's what comes out when you write. When I need cheering up I try to write porn and never manage.

Yeah, I was feeling pretty sick and dizzy today, and was getting concerned until I realized that, as brilliant as I am, I hadn't eaten anything until around 6:30 in the afternoon. Who knew the human body couldn't function on diet soda alone?

Oh, I have no doubt. I may just fast-forward to the nekkid scenes. ;)

[guanin.livejournal.com]

In my case, I often have trouble writing upsetting stuff when I'm upset because then it makes me even more upset. Porn isn't a problem. I revised Public Interlude on Monday to get away from the flu madness. writing sad stuff while happy is harder though because I-m unwilling to give up my good mood to get my serious face on.