Trapped in the pusillanimous formality of academic speech

[guanin]

Whilst one attempts to delve through the academic literature to acquire the ability to engage debates and theoretical questions in a learned and hopefully distinguished manner, one might experience the encroachment by a style of expression foreign to the comforts of casual and ordinary language, i.e. that which we use to communicate day to day with our fellow man (or woman). This ornate form of speech invades the brain, eclipsing it to freer alternatives until the person finds themselves in at a crossroads in which there are only two options. Either continue in this extravagant show of higher intellectual acumen or let loose in a primal scream and seek one's salvation by fleeing to the safety of alternate expression.

Translation: Too much pompous academic language makes my brain hurt. Why can't all academics write like John Lynch. His language flows. It's correct and engaging and just... flows. Plus, the man's a genius.