(no subject)

[guanin]

I need a vacation form my life. I just need a year to get away from everything annoying or troubling and get what I want now.

*looks at bank balance; notices distinctive lack of million dollars*

Darn.

I got a panic attack calling the bank today. That was fun. Oh, and then my grandmother banged on my door screaming my name as if someone had died... and it was just my dad on the phone. *head desk* Honestly.

I sent of my CV to the Chicago Film Festival people today for an internship. I really hope they take me. This is the only internship position I've seen so far that does not include any sort of office work in the requirements. I don't know what I'd do in a job that requires answering phones on a regular basis.

Comments

[visiblemarket.livejournal.com]

Oooh, Chicago Film Festival sounds cool. One of my friends is a film student at Northwestern, I bet he goes to that.

[guanin.livejournal.com]

I just discovered it yesterday. The blurb said the internship is for 3 months Aug-Sep, which is rather off by this point, but it didn't mention the position not being available while others did say it. I called to make sure and they said that if it was online, them it's available. Here's hoping. Except for my non-existent Mac knowledge, I fit their profile nicely. I even have 3 foreign languages to play with.

[visiblemarket.livejournal.com]

Macs are very user...well, I wouldn't say friendly, because they're a little intimidating, so I'll say they're user patronizing. But you'll pick it up in no time! I'll keep my fingers crossed you get the job. Does it pay in something other than experience?

[guanin.livejournal.com]

All I know is how to close a window. That's it. I was kind of honest with that in the cover letter. Maybe I shouldn't have been. But I did I learn quickly. *nervous grin* The blurb said "or willingness to learn." No pay, I'm afraid. It mentioned "might lead to paying job in future", but not at the moment.

[visiblemarket.livejournal.com]

Neither did I when I first got mine, but now...I can use word, photoshop, and bumble my way through InDesign. It's really not that hard, for people our age that are used to computers; I can imagine older folks having difficulties. Well, that's better than nothing. Not even per diem for gas?

[guanin.livejournal.com]

Photoshop! That's another thing I have to learn. Right after html and all that fun stuff. Per diem? What's per diem? Well, I'd be going on the train anyway, since 1) I don't have my own car and I can't take my grandfather's car for the whole day 2) commuting to Chicago by car is insane (the traffic jams make you want to kill yourself and the cost of parking will make you burst into tears) 3) I'd be taking the train. There's a station ten minutes from the house. It's what loads of people do.

[visiblemarket.livejournal.com]

Ah, that's right, train commuters, that works too. Per diem is a daily bit of money allocated specifically for travel expenses (or other expenses, depending on how generous your bosses are). But interns sometimes get them because they're a) not getting paid and b) usually young people in need of such things.

[guanin.livejournal.com]

That's neat. Well, the train is $11.50 return since I'm at the end of the line, so that would be appreciated.

[visiblemarket.livejournal.com]

Yeouch, see? That's the kind of thing per diems are for; you're a lot cheaper than actually hiring someone salaried, so $11.50 really would be a bargain. If you get the job you should totally ask if they'll throw a little of that your way to make sure you get there and you don't bankrupt yourself working.

[guanin.livejournal.com]

Well, I'm nowhere near bankrupt yet, but yeah, I do need an income. First I'm just focusing on getting the damn thing. This all so scary. The real world is not what it's cracked up to be.

[visiblemarket.livejournal.com]

You know, I was always pretty sure the real world was going to suck. It's college that had (and has) me disillusioned. So, yay, real world living up to my expectations when higher education did not!

[guanin.livejournal.com]

I rather enjoyed college, this year excepted. Well, once I got friends. And got rid of those maths classes. At least I knew what I was going to do the next year. Not knowing doesn't work well for me.At least a vague idea. Something.

[visiblemarket.livejournal.com]

I'm liking it better this year but eh, not to the point it's built up just about everywhere. I don't know what I'll do once I'm out, though. "A year off for social service" sounds good and all but figuring out which one and where and how to get into AmeriCorps etc is concerning me.

[guanin.livejournal.com]

Well, I didn't have all the fun the brochure promised, but it was alright. But I was really looking forward to getting a job this past year. One of the girls I met said that between having a job and doing an MA, having a job was way easier. I'm considering volunteering at the local environmental society. It'd be nice to contribute. Plus, maybe I'll meet someone who's in film! It could happen.That AmeriCorps thing did look tricky. I've never tried anything like that, so I have no idea about it.

[visiblemarket.livejournal.com]

I don't know. Jobs for me are mostly about having the money to do the stuff I want, but remain daunting enough in mind that I want to put them off as long as I can. Because seriously, you'll spend more time working than not in your life, and that's scary. It's like when you think about marrying someone, chances are you'll spend more years married to them than not. Creeps me out. Hah, if you're interested in a sort-of okay film student (who's about to graduate, at least?) and has some connections in LA if I recall correctly, I could hook you up.

[guanin.livejournal.com]

I get what you're saying. It is fear of jobs that would leave me unfulflled that has me holding out for the job I want, which isn't the smartest thing to do, but I might as well take the time now to improve my skills and have something more to put in a CV. And all jobs are scarce, anyway, so what the hell. Let's see how long that lasts. That would be swell. Connections are always good.

[guanin.livejournal.com]

O-kay, LJ seems to have swallowed my comment.

Anyway, I get what you're saying. For the moment, I'm trying to hoold out for a job that does interest me versus one just to pay the bills since I can for now, because it really does scare me to be one of those people who hate their job.That would be swell! Connections are always good, especially since I don't have any yet around these parts.

ETA:And just when I posted that, my other comment appeared. *face palm*

[visiblemarket.livejournal.com]

That was a little weird. Since I got the email notification and then came to respond and...nothing.

Yeah, the job hating does get old. I'd be willing to stay at a job that I tolerate, at least. I'll see if he ever returns my emails and/or facebooks ;)

ETA: Damn, livejournal is being crazy.

[guanin.livejournal.com]

I clicked on the 'post' button, but then I refreshed and nothing.

At least 'tolerate' would be something. Why must life be so peevishly difficult? Okay. It is tricky communicating with people, isn't it? I'm still waiting for my cousin to reply. from a Sunday e-mail.

It's toying with us, slowly trying to drive us mad.

[visiblemarket.livejournal.com]

I remember when that happened on some discussion post at [Bad username or site: @ livejournal.com] when I got a little ranty. I decided it was for the best.

"Tolerate" would be fantastic; I don't even tolerate people most days. Life is always difficult; it's because the universe does not care. Or does care and likes to mess with us for it's own amusement. Yeah, I'm very bad at communication myself; I was supposed to call him at some point over the summer when he was home from school to hang out but hearing a former crush go on and on about his new girlfriend and all the sex they do or don't have isn't my idea of a good time.

I wouldn't doubt it.

[guanin.livejournal.com]

Sometiems I wish LJ would swallow my rants. I should not be near a computer some days.

Being stuck with a coworker you hate is another nightmare. I don't think I'd handle that well. I'm sure the falsity of my forced smile would be very obvious. I tend never to call people myself. But that's an excellent reason. Yeesh. Almost every guy I know has a girlfriend (which doesn't matters any), but they never talk about that. Coming from a former crush that's an extra dose of horrible.

[visiblemarket.livejournal.com]

True that. Some of the over-share I did back in my first months of LJ I would definitely like to disappear.

I'm fairly good at dealing with people I hate because I tend to hate a lot of people and if I wasn't I wouldn't get anything done; but it's exhausting and I don't like doing it. Oh, I'm awful at calling people as well, I think I've mentioned. I used to be good at just IMing them instead or email, but even that...eh. Heh. I think sometimes my efforts to be "just one of the guys" really do come back to bite me in the ass.

[guanin.livejournal.com]

I tend to flee from people I don't like, so I don't have a lot of practice with actually dealing with them. I sometimes IM on Facebook, but not that much. The occasional comment witll pop up. I basically just stick to LJ this days unless I'm in PR. That is one of those situations where reminding people you're female would be helpful. This whole "being one of the guys" thing is so tricky. Though I have a similar problem with "being one of the girls" when the subject of makeup and fashion and celebrity gossip comes up.

[visiblemarket.livejournal.com]

I work in retail, so fleeing from people I don't like isn't really an option; I have how ever been working on a glower that will cause them to flee from me. I don't know how well it's going. LJ I tend to answer a lot more because, well, I like the people on it more than I like some of my friends ;) I think I've just decided to be one of the guys because, well, it makes more sense to me. Even if it does mean I'll never go out with any of said guys. Being one of the girls has gotten so much easier now that I've learned as much as I have about sex and gotten comfortable talking about it, it's amazing.

[guanin.livejournal.com]

One of the reasons why I'm afraid of going into retail. In the UK it's quiet common to have the employees glare at you. People even expect it in some places. I'm in between the guys and girls divide, but I've always gravitated towards the guy's side in a mixed group, unless they're talking about football which I don't follow, so I'm completely lost. In my group of girls, I feel more comfortable because none have had boyfriends so we're all in the same boat. That's not to say that sex doesn't come up a lot, but it's different than from when one of my other friends talks about all the sex she has (and she does go on), it gets a little awkward. For everyone (and this is a mixed group).

[visiblemarket.livejournal.com]

It's actually kind of fun. I mean, I'm apparently friendly looking and polite so I get a lot of the kind of people I'd rather not talk to asking me for things, and I deal with it, but I have managed to scare off little kids, so yay, me! I like to think I'm a guy's girl, but who really knows, I haven't had a good, solid male friend in ages. Heh, I kind of like listening to people talk about their sex lives, even though I don't have one. I wouldn't go so far as to say it's "research" but...maybe it is a little. I know some people aren't terribly comfortable with it, though. And I'm not when it's, you know, the ex-crush.

[guanin.livejournal.com]

Heh. People think I'm friendly looking until they catch me in a bad mood. They're always so shocked.

I have managed to scare off little kids

*laughs* Oh, that's funny. I have only two male friends who I'm close to, but they're not the kind of guys who would talk about their sex lives if they had them. I used to handle it okay, but now I get depressed hearing about other people's relationships. I don't have many friends who have relationships, anyway.

I'm going to have to log off soon because my head's starting to hurt for some insane reason. It's the monthly devil coming soon, I'm sure.

[visiblemarket.livejournal.com]

I think it's the short, rolly-polly thing I like to imagine I have going for me. My dirty, dirty mind tends to surprise people more than anything.

Heh. It's a dubious badge of honor but I wear it with pride. I can frighten little children! Yeah, the few male acquaintances I'm friendly with at the moment don't have sex lives to speak of, as far as I know or care to know. But if they felt comfortable talking about them, I would listen.

Aw, feel better! I will continue to read through my M/M romance novel into ungodly hours of the night.

[guanin.livejournal.com]

Oh, if people only knew what I'm thinking half the time. Those would be faces to see.

That should be a recognized skill. Now I want to do that. I'm not sure what that says about me.

I will... do more research. But it's fun research! I'm rather liking Catherine of Aragon.

Night!

[lotus0kid.livejournal.com]

Join the club, sweetheart. But I do hope the Chicago Film Festival gives you a shot. That sounds like it would be amazing.

[guanin.livejournal.com]

It's Writing and Editing, exaclty my thing. I found it by chance yesterday. I'm hoping they reply soon, because this has me so nervous. And the Festival is exactly one month from today, so they need the people now. That should quicken their response, I hope.

[lotus0kid.livejournal.com]

Ooh, that sounds fantastic! And yeah, if the notice for the job opening was posted recently with a month to go, they should be really receptive.

[guanin.livejournal.com]

I don't think it was posted recently since the blurb said it runs from August to October and most of the internships are taken. But the lady on the phone said it was available.

[lotus0kid.livejournal.com]

You talked to someone on the phone? That's great! Really, talking to an actual person is a huge step. Most people don't make it past sending in a CV.

[guanin.livejournal.com]

Well, that was before I sent in the CV to ask if the position was still available. That was it. I really hope they at least reply. I get stress attacks over this stuff.

[lotus0kid.livejournal.com]

Oh okay. Well still, that's great, showing initiative and whatnot and not just throwing your name on top of the pile. They'll remember that.

[guanin.livejournal.com]

Um... Not if I didn't tell her my name. She didn't ask. She didn't any interest in talking to me, really, just told me to send it to the e-mail.

[lotus0kid.livejournal.com]

Hm, that's unfortunate. Well, either way, the position is open, and they have your information.

[guanin.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I suppose. I just want a reply one way or the other. It's silence that drives me nuts.

[lotus0kid.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that's always the worst part. Give it another week- if you don't hear anything after that, they've probably gone with someone else. But good luck!

[guanin.livejournal.com]

*mopey face* Okay. I shall strive for Zen calm.

*deep breath*

Thanks.

[g0shawk.livejournal.com]

Hm, I seem to be missing my million dollars as well...

Well that stinks :/

Whoa, that'd be so awesome!! Good luck!

[guanin.livejournal.com]

My cousin keeps telling me we should play the lottery. The numbers on the Illinois lottery billboard going into Chicago do keep getting rather huge. And one of my neighbors did win.

It would! Thanks! I might volunteer anyway even if I don't get hired just to see the movies.

[g0shawk.livejournal.com]

It would be awesome to win the lottery! That's so cool that your neighbor did!

Sounds like a good idea :)