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Title: The Other
Pairing: Kensei/Hiro, Adam/Hiro (yes, there's a difference :)
Rating: PG-13
Summary: A mortal injury, an accidental teleportation, and an encounter with his own self. I turn and I see... Me.
AN 1: This is a two part story, showing the same scene from two points of view. This is Kensei's. Adam's is already written and should be up either tomorrow or Sunday.
AN 2: Title shamelessly stolen from Jorge Luis Borges's story "The Other", which deals with the same theme.
Disclaimer: I own nothing but my own words.
This can’t be happening. No, please, God, don’t let this be happening. Hiro shouldn’t be here. This is my battle, not his. I’m the one supposed to do the fighting, I’m the one who can’t get hurt, who can’t die, not him. Oh, God there’s so much blood.
“Kensei...”
He sounds so scared.
“It’s all right, carp, I’m here. Don’t try to move.”
I almost didn’t hear him cry out, I was too distracted fighting that other samurai.
“He stabbed me. I... I didn’t see him. It was too fast...”
I killed that son of a bitch, clove my sword right through his spine.
“Shh, It’s fine. You’re going to be fine.”
Lies. All lies. His blood keeps gushing between my hands as I press them against the cut ripped into his side. He didn’t just stab him, he slashed him deep across the ribs, nearly gutting down his stomach. Oh Christ, I can see bone.
“Just lie still. I’ll take care of you. You take care of me. Now it’s my turn, right?”
He smiles, barely, but it’s a smile. My throat tightens. He won’t last long, not like this. He’s going to... No! Don’t think it, don’t you dare. He can’t die. He’s Hiro, my savior, my... I won’t let him die. His face is so pale, wide eyes imploring me, desperate hand tightening on my arm and I don’t know what to do. I fumble with the ties of my armor, but the blasted thing won’t give. I yank it, ripping the strings, and tear off one sleeve, holding it against the wound and Hiro cries out, face twisting in pain. I never want to hear that sound again. My bones are frozen inside my body, my skin prickling with chills I haven’t felt since I was a child. The blood isn’t stopping, the cloth already soaked. I rip my other sleeve, replacing it on the cut, tying it down with Hiro’s sash, but it’s not good enough, nowhere near good enough.
“We need a doctor.”
“It’s too far.”
Damn the weakness in his voice.
“I’ll get you there. You’re going to live, carp. Don’t you doubt that.”
But how do I get him there? If I don’t keep pressure on the wound, he’ll bleed to death and it’d be my death, only I could never come back from that.
“I can get us to the town.”
What? He can’t mean... Not in this state!
“You’re too weak. Making that effort could make you worse. We can’t risk that.”
“I can do it. It’ll be fine.”
He smiles, trying to give me courage. He’s the one dying and he’s still braver than me. My dear, stubborn Hiro. I always knew I was fond of him, but... How come I didn’t see it?
“All right,” I say, squeezing his hand.
I lean over him until our heads are practically touching. The closeness might make it easier; I don’t know. He shuts his eyes, his face scrunching up in concentration, and I close mine too until I feel cold air striking my face and the grass beneath us is suddenly replaced by a hard, flat surface. It looks to have once been white, but is now flecked with grey and black stretching out to all sides and I can’t believe what I’m seeing. Is that a.. It can’t be a building? It’s all glass and metal and towers above us, stinging my eyes.. There’s a noise, a harsh humming sound and I look up. What in God’s name is that thing? No bird flies like that. It’s coming closer, frightful shrieking screaming in my ears and I crouch over Hiro, shielding him, but it passes us by.
“Carp? Where is this place?”
He doesn’t look frightened, but clearly something’s gone wrong, for he’s looking about with a worried expression.
“Oops.”
“Hiro? Do you know where we are?”
“New York. I think.” His voice is growing weaker. “Funny it’s not the Deveaux building...”
He trails off, his eyelids fluttering and he falls against my chest.
“Hiro! No, don’t go to sleep. You have to stay with me. Please, stay with me!”
I’m shaking him, but he doesn’t move, he doesn’t talk, he doesn’t do anything! He’s breathing, his chest is rising and I feel his pulse beating against my hand, but it’s frail. He doesn’t have long. The wound is still bleeding. Why in God’s name won’t it stop bleeding? There’s no doctor, no help to be gotten here. We’re trapped and he’s dying, dying right in front of me and I can do nothing! I’ve been shot, stabbed, burned, run through and lived, but I can’t keep the man I love from dying in front of me. And I do love him. He’s the most important being in the entire world. Why isn’t till now that I realized how precious you truly are? Please, carp, don’t die. Don’t leave me.
Something scrapes the floor behind me and I reach for my sword, but it’s not in its scabbard. I left it in that bastard samurai’s gut. I turn, sticking close to Hiro, and I see... Me.
This is not possible. It must be a hallucination, a mirage, some illusion concocted by my preoccupied mind. I can’t be here and five feet away at the same time. But that face... It’s my face, my eyes, my nose, my mouth, my hair. And those clothes... They’re like Hiro’s clothes when he arrived in Japan. This is not... It can’t be... I want to grab Hiro and run.
“Are you a demon? A ghost? Am I going mad?”
I feel my blood frost in my veins as he looks at me.
“Not yet.”
What the hell is that supposed to mean? Bugger it, I don’t want to know. He seems more interested in Hiro than me, raking his eyes over his body with a fascination that frightens me. He steps forward and I jump up, blocking his way.
“Stay back!” I shout, bracing myself for a fight if he even thinks about coming near Hiro.
He raises his hands in a conciliatory gesture. “Relax. I’m you. Your future self. It seems he brought you here by accident.”
My future self? It can’t be. This must be centuries after my time. I couldn’t have lived this long. But he knows about Hiro. And he’s... Well, a mirror couldn’t produce a more faithful image.
“What year is this?” I ask, already wary of the answer.
“1977.”
My mind stutters. I run the number in my head again, the amount too large to contemplate.
“That’s... that’s 300 years.”
“Yes. Quite a long time. And yet the clock still has to run a little further before we reach his time. He hasn’t been born yet.”
He’s looking at Hiro, scrutinizing him, and I think I see nostalgia in his eyes, my eyes, but something dark slithers across his face.
Oh God, Hiro! I just left him lying on the ground. How could I do that? He’s still breathing, but it’s faint. I have to lay my hand completely over his mouth to feel it. Weak, so weak. The blood flow’s slowed down, a bad sign. By now, there’s more blood outside than there’s in.
“Help me,” I call behind me, but he doesn’t do more than crouch down beside me and keep observing Hiro as if this were some faraway event that had nothing to do with him. Why is he just sitting there?
“He’s bleeding to death!”
He turns to me, but he gives me nothing.
“If you’re me, why aren’t you helping me save him?”
“Because I’m not you anymore.”
I’m chilled. I’ve never felt his cold. He lifts his hand and I immediately reach out to stop him, but he’s only touching Hiro’s forehead, just a simple touch, stroking gently with the back of his fingers. Hiro doesn’t react as the hand—my hand— descends down his face.
“He made you who you are,” he says. “Then he made me.”
What does that mean? I’d ask, but it’s doubtful that I’d ever get a straight answer from this bizarre apparition.
“He’s stopped breathing:”
“What?”
I reach out for Hiro’s throat, feeling around frantically for a pulse, but there’s nothing! Nothing! No, this isn’t happening, this isn’t happening.
“His heart isn’t beating, either.”
Shut up! Please don’t die, carp, please don’t die. Please!
“Soon, if it hasn’t done so already, his brain will shut down and end all activity.”
He sounds like a purser reading accounts. I glare at him, disgusted. This can’t be me. I don’t care if it is a demon or a torment of my own imagination, but it’s not me.
“He’s... He’s...”
I won’t say it. Oh God, Hiro. You can’t be. You can’t be d... De... No. no no no no no.
“Carp, please open your eyes. Please, you can’t leave me. You can’t, please!”
I crush him to me, wrapping my arms tight around his body, and bury my face in his neck, but there’s no pulse, no breath, no life. Why? Why can you die while I live? I want to press your heart against mine and pump my life into you. All of it. Every drop of my blood I’d give to you.
A touch on my shoulder.
“Get away!”
I shove his hand away. How dare he touch me now when he was just sat there all that time not doing a damn thing and now Hiro’s dead? But he grabs my arm, the fucking bastard.
“Let go of me!”
I punch him. Well, I try to, but he ducks and I graze his shoulder. I want to hit him, to maim, to rip away that mask that dares to call itself by my name and tear it to shreds. I can’t take it! He grabs my wrist, pressing close to me and I let go of Hiro as I lift my left hand and this time my fist does connect, pounding through skin that heals in a second. I hit him again, breaking his nose. It doesn’t feel good. It doesn’t feel like anything. The world has turned grey and dull and shivering and I can’t even taste the tears on my lips. Pain thunders in my stomach and as I fight for breath, I’m suddenly on the ground with him on top of me, trapping my wrists against the floor. I struggle, trying to twist away, but he won’t stop staring at me with those falcon eyes pecking me with iron claws.
“Listen to me.”
“Get the hell off me!”
“Listen!”
I stop moving. I don’t like the way he’s looking at me. It’s like he’s trying to crawl inside my skin and dissect me from the inside out.
“300 years ago, Hiro Nakmura betrayed me.”
“Hiro wouldn’t. He’d never...”
“Shut up and listen. He betrayed me as he would have betrayed you if he lived. I am what you would become if the original story where to come to pass. He’s not the good friend you imagine. If he were, he’d never have done what he did. If he were too live, he’d probably do it again. But something makes me wonder. You see, this...”
He nods towards Hiro lying beside us. Oh God, I can’t look at him.
“This never happened before. Hiro was never mortally injured; he never accidentally teleported us to the future. Which means that something has changed.”
“What’s your point?”
“You have a choice. It’s been a long time since I dared hope for anything. You’ve only lived a few years; you don’t see the world the way I do. I see darkness that never lifts, anger and fear and pain never ending. Light doesn’t last for more than a second before it’s snatched away again. Perhaps what I’m going to tell you now won’t change a thing in the long run, but there’s a possibility, slim as it seems to me now, and so I’ll tell you. You can save him.”
What? How dare he say such things after what happened?
“You bastard. He’s already dead!”
Oh God, I just said it.
“He doesn’t have to stay dead.”
“What devilry is it you speak? No one has power over death. No one save—“
“God. And you.”
Wait. What? That’s mad. I can heal, but... Heal from any wound. Carp said that. But surely I can’t also heal others, can I?
“But it’s not possible. It can’t be.”
He lets go of my hands and sits beside me. I straighten up, desperate, but I don’t dare to hope yet. It hurts too much to hope.
“You’re not a normal man,” he says. “You know this. So why do you question it? You have been gifted above all others with the dominion over life and death. Not even most gods have that power.”
“Then why did you just stand there when he was dying?”
I turn to Hiro, see his pale, pale skin, growing cold and hard even now, his life banished.
“Then why didn’t you save him then? If you were me, surely you know what this is.” I put my hand tight against my heart, feel it thundering. “This burn, this ache nailed in my soul. Just breathing hurts.”
He looks surprised. Why is that? Surely he must know what I mean. Doesn’t he?
“You didn’t realize that you loved him until now.”
I’m missing something. He looks down at Hiro and finally I detect a softness in his eyes, a nostalgia that definitely wasn’t there before. Or maybe he was hiding it.
“I didn’t realize until he kissed her.”
“What?”
He avoids my eyes.
“That was his betrayal.”
Wait. Waitwaitwaitwait.
“Her? You mean Yaeko?”
He nods. “He claimed to love her.”
But... That doesn’t make any sense.
“But he wants me to love her. All he talks... talked about was me becoming a hero and loving my princess. He... Why would he...”
“I don’t have an answer for that. According to him, it was an accident.”
No. This isn’t real. It’s madness. Hiro wanted me to fall for Yaeko, but I fell in love with him, but then he fell in love with Yaeko and now he’s dead and I’m talking to myself, or someone who used to be myself and I can’t take any more of this. I feel dizzy. The world is spinning. I knew that the only love he harbored towards me was that of friendship, but this... this... Why did this happen?
“You wanted revenge,” I say, not looking up from the hands covering my face. “That’s it, isn’t it?”
“I did. Right up to the moment when you showed up.”
“But you don’t anymore?”
I lift my head a bit and see him stroking Hiro’s face again, brushing his thumb over his cheek. It’s so much like the caress he delivered earlier, when there was still warmth in his body.
“No.”
A tug in his throat. That’s what his voice is. His hand is gentle as it sweeps over Hiro’s neck. Yet he let him die. Even if Hiro did what he said he did, I could never wish him harm. It scares me that I could become so cold.
“Tell me.” I slide closer to him, closer to Hiro, who may not have to stay dead, who might live like I lived after those arrows pierced my chest. My head feels light. Hope. I never thought I could hope again, but if he was telling the truth, then... “Tell me how to save him. Please. If you weren’t lying to me, and you better not have been, because I don’t care what you are, I’ll—“
“There’s no need for threats.”
He lifts his head, clearly annoyed, but I don’t care. This is too important.
“I’ll show you,” he says. “It’s very simple.”
He takes something out of his pocket. It’s a silver folding knife. As he pulls out the blade, I realize what the trick is.
“Hold out your hand.”
I do as he asks. It’s not like he can permanently hurt me. He cups my hand in his and brings down the blade. I hiss as it digs into my flesh, carving a long line from knuckle to wrist. Just because I’ve gotten used to the pain doesn’t mean that it doesn’t hurt. He keeps the knife inside, spreading the wound open as he pulls me toward Hiro. He presses my hand on the now silent gash in his side, drawing out the blade at the last second. It’s my blood, isn’t it? The key element? I look at him, excited, terrified. What if this doesn’t work? What if Hiro never gets up again despite my offering? Then I feel something shifting under my palm, like a little worm wriggling under my skin.
“Do I keep my hand here?” I ask. “Should I move away? I don’t know.”
“Did you feel the wound close?”
The wound close? Is that what that sensation was?
“That should be enough, then. You can lift your hand if you want.”
I do so and the cut is gone, Hiro’s skin as smooth and perfect as a baby’s. I touch it with the tips of my fingers and I almost shout. He’s warm. He was cold when I first touched him, but now he’s warm again. I feel it spreading over his torso, climbing up his arm, drifting to his fingers. Life, new life. I gave Hiro life! My life. The lightest pink flush returns to his cheeks. I’m crying again. I drop my head on his chest, flattening my ear over his heart. He’s so warm now that he’s practically sweltering. I close my eyes, concentrating. Come on, come on.
Thump.
It’s beating. Oh, my God, it’s beating! His chest rises, squeezing against my face. Breath, blessed breath. I hear it whistling in his throat, growing stronger, and suddenly he jerks up, crashing against me, his eyes open, frowning as they fix on me.
“Kensei?”
I throw my arms around him, calling his name over and over again, feeling his warmth and breath and life. He’s alive. My Hiro is alive!
“What is it?”
His hands are hesitant on my back, but they’re real, living fingers and I’m so happy my heart is skipping inside my chest.
“My side doesn’t hurt anymore. What happened?”
How stupid of me. He doesn’t know anything and here I am almost strangling him by holding him so tightly. I pull back, still clinging to his shoulders, but leaving him space to breathe. I laugh. I’m so giddy. I pat his arms, his sides, his torso, every bit of him so warm and pliant and alive and I’m saying that word too much, but I can’t stop feeling how precious a gift it really is. He’s staring at me like I’ve gone mad. I better explain before he starts believing it.
“You were dead,” I whisper, my voice is too strangled to produce anything louder.
“Dead?!” he squeaks, that adorable shocked look taking over his face. God, I love him so much.
“I brought you back. My blood... I put some in your wound and it healed and you came back.”
“But... I couldn’t have been dead.”
He’s shaking his head, his eyes wide. He pulls at his clothes, lifting the torn fabric over where the wound used to be, now gone. His hand slides over the perfectly hale skin and he looks up at me, amazed.
“You gave me your blood,” he says.
“Yes.”
“You can heal others? And I was... dead?”
I nod, squeezing his shoulders. He grips my left arm, regarding me with the utmost admiration.
“You really are a godsend.”
There’s reverence in his voice. I shake my head. I’m not the one who deserves praise.
“You’re the godsend, Hiro. I wouldn’t be anyone without you.”
He smiles, beautiful smile, but I can’t tell him what I really feel. The smidgen of hope that might have once existed in my heart has been effectively destroyed by what I’ve learned today from my own lips. I’d forgotten about him. But that other me is no longer next to us. Suddenly, Hiro stiffens, looking sharply over my shoulder and I turn around.
“Kensei? There’s another you.”
He’s standing over five feet away. Why is he all the way over there? And why does he look like a squall’s coming over the horizon? He’s trembling, shaking badly if I can spot it from this distance. His breath is loud and tremulous, just like mine was a few minutes ago. The cold statue of a man I’ve been talking to has vanished, and despite how much he bothered me, this abrupt shift is even more unsettling.
“Hello, Hiro.”
His voice is so soft I hardly hear it. Why is he so afraid?
“What year is this?” Hiro asks, and I reply with that mad year the other me gave me, only he says it at the same time, our voices matching syllable for syllable. A smile peeks on Hiro’s lips as he looks at each of us.
“You look like twins,” he says. “Not like when I... Well, never mind.”
“When you what?” I ask.
He looks worried. I shouldn’t have asked.
“I went to the future once, my future and met myself.”
He what? What is this supposed to be, some sort of déjà vú in reverse?
“I was very different.”
He is very different. I almost say it, but I don’t want to risk bringing up any of the things we discussed earlier. It’d be best if we left now, before he has a chance to see what I could become. But I won’t. I’ll never be like him. I don’t care if... Even if Hiro does ...that... I won’t. I already lost him once. I could never bear to go through that again.
“But I really shouldn’t talk about that,” Hiro continues. “Not that it really affects anything now, but... I don’t know.”
“It’s all right,” I reassure him. “You don’t have to talk about anything you don’t want to.”
Too eager to please, perhaps, but he smiles, something he came so close to never doing again and I want to hold him and tell him what I truly feel, but I can’t. There’s no chance of him returning my sentiments. My hands fall away from his shoulders as he stands up, stumbling a bit as he gets his feet under him, but his movements are perfectly healthy and able. I stand as well, keeping by his side, close enough that our arms brush together and I feel his living warmth against me. The other me hasn’t moved. He’s pulled that detached mask over his face again, but it’s cracking at the edges. Something stirs in his eyes a cross between worry and something I can’t identify, and I inch closer to Hiro, which is foolish, because he’s not going to hurt him, not after he let him live, but I can’t trust him.
“I think it’d be better if we went back now,” Hiro says, voicing my own thoughts and I nod, but then the other me’s eyes catch mine for a second and I realize what that look means. He’s rushing towards him and I know what he’s going to do, but my body won’t move and he’s already in front of Hiro, pulling him towards him and oh God he just kissed him. I’m watching myself kiss Hiro. Mouth to mouth contact. My mouth and his mouth and there’s no getting out of this now.
“I love you.”
He said it. I can’t believe he said it. Hiro’s gaping at him, completely astonished and this is bad, bad, bad. His eyes fly between us, seeking some response from me, but my tongue is stuck to the roof of my mouth.
“I love you.”
He said it again. Doesn’t he see the unease on Hiro’s face? There’s no fixing this. If Hiro rejects us, (and of
course he will, why on God’s earth would he not), our friendship will no longer exist.
“He won’t say it.”
He’s talking again. Shut up, shut up, shut up!
“He’s too afraid.”
You’re damn right I’m afraid. How can he can just go around saying it as if it were nothing?
“Just like I was. I didn’t mention anything the first time, three centuries ago, because I never dreamed even of the possibility that I might be so lucky as to have your love, not merely as a friend, but as a lover.
Even now I have doubt, but something tells me that I’m not wrong in having told you.”
Something does? What is he seeing that I’m not? Although Hiro hasn’t recoiled or lashed out, but I assume that to be shock. No, I couldn’t be that lucky, could I? Then again, he’s been my good luck charm for everything else, maybe... No, it’s too much to ask for.
“I... I don’t know...” Hiro stutters.
Wait. He doesn’t know? Not “you disgust me” or “you’re depraved” or any of the damming condemnations I’ve had spit in my face?
“I mean...,” he continues. “Everything’s so sudden. I died and then there’s two of you and now you tell me that you love me. You.”
He’s looking at me, stepping closer and I want to flee, but there’s such a need in Hiro’s eyes to understand and I can’t deny him anything.
“If he’s saying it, that means that you also feel that way, right?”
Time for truth. I have to respond.
“Yes.”
He gazes at me, not speaking. Please, carp say something. Punch me, condemn me, anything, just say something.
“You don’t love Yaeko?”
I shake my head, my mouth stumbling on that other question I really don’t want answered.
“Do you?”
“What? Where did... How did... No. I may be a little attracted to her, but no more than to...well... you.”
Stunned. I’m completely stunned. Did he just say that he’s attracted to me? Me? He desires me?
“Do you really mean that?” I ask.
Say yes, please say yes.
“Yes.”
He’s all red. Hiro’s blushes are always sincere, even when he’s trying to hide something and I knew that the other me standing there couldn’t have had the whole story straight and here’s the proof.
“I mean, you’re my hero,” he continues and I lean forward, starved for his words. “I think I’ve always had a bit of a crush on you. Not that that’s the only reason why I like you!”
His rush to clarify that is so endearing and I know he’s telling the truth.
“But you do like me.” I say, a stupid grin taking over my face.
“It’s not love. At least not yet. With a little time, maybe. It’s just so unexpected. You’re not supposed to like men. Although you weren’t supposed to be a drunk, either and yet I still can’t get you to spend the nights sober, so, really, I shouldn’t be so surprised--”
I grab him by the shoulders and he quiets down, peeking up at me. He’s nervous. So am I. I’ve survived storms at sea and hand to hand combat, but I don’t think I’ve ever been this scared before.
“Can I kiss you?” I ask. No question has ever been so important.
He blinks once, twice, then a bright smile dawns on his lips.
“Yes. OK.”
I lift my hand to his face. His skin is soft under my fingers, his warmth soaking into my flesh as I stroke down his jaw. His breath catches, quivering in anticipation as he tilts his face up. I lean down, finally touching his lips with mine and a gush of joy rushes through me. I’m kissing him, my Hiro, my love, and he’s kissing back and it’s perfection. I feel his pulse strong against my chest as I press against him, drinking in his unique scent. His arms tighten around my back and I venture the slightest flicker of tongue over his bottom lip. He gasps and I smile against his mouth. After I pull away he licks his lip exactly in the spot where I touched him, tasting me, and I almost kiss him again. I catch the eye of the other me, and say,
“Thank you.”
Adam's POV
Pairing: Kensei/Hiro, Adam/Hiro (yes, there's a difference :)
Rating: PG-13
Summary: A mortal injury, an accidental teleportation, and an encounter with his own self. I turn and I see... Me.
AN 1: This is a two part story, showing the same scene from two points of view. This is Kensei's. Adam's is already written and should be up either tomorrow or Sunday.
AN 2: Title shamelessly stolen from Jorge Luis Borges's story "The Other", which deals with the same theme.
Disclaimer: I own nothing but my own words.
This can’t be happening. No, please, God, don’t let this be happening. Hiro shouldn’t be here. This is my battle, not his. I’m the one supposed to do the fighting, I’m the one who can’t get hurt, who can’t die, not him. Oh, God there’s so much blood.
“Kensei...”
He sounds so scared.
“It’s all right, carp, I’m here. Don’t try to move.”
I almost didn’t hear him cry out, I was too distracted fighting that other samurai.
“He stabbed me. I... I didn’t see him. It was too fast...”
I killed that son of a bitch, clove my sword right through his spine.
“Shh, It’s fine. You’re going to be fine.”
Lies. All lies. His blood keeps gushing between my hands as I press them against the cut ripped into his side. He didn’t just stab him, he slashed him deep across the ribs, nearly gutting down his stomach. Oh Christ, I can see bone.
“Just lie still. I’ll take care of you. You take care of me. Now it’s my turn, right?”
He smiles, barely, but it’s a smile. My throat tightens. He won’t last long, not like this. He’s going to... No! Don’t think it, don’t you dare. He can’t die. He’s Hiro, my savior, my... I won’t let him die. His face is so pale, wide eyes imploring me, desperate hand tightening on my arm and I don’t know what to do. I fumble with the ties of my armor, but the blasted thing won’t give. I yank it, ripping the strings, and tear off one sleeve, holding it against the wound and Hiro cries out, face twisting in pain. I never want to hear that sound again. My bones are frozen inside my body, my skin prickling with chills I haven’t felt since I was a child. The blood isn’t stopping, the cloth already soaked. I rip my other sleeve, replacing it on the cut, tying it down with Hiro’s sash, but it’s not good enough, nowhere near good enough.
“We need a doctor.”
“It’s too far.”
Damn the weakness in his voice.
“I’ll get you there. You’re going to live, carp. Don’t you doubt that.”
But how do I get him there? If I don’t keep pressure on the wound, he’ll bleed to death and it’d be my death, only I could never come back from that.
“I can get us to the town.”
What? He can’t mean... Not in this state!
“You’re too weak. Making that effort could make you worse. We can’t risk that.”
“I can do it. It’ll be fine.”
He smiles, trying to give me courage. He’s the one dying and he’s still braver than me. My dear, stubborn Hiro. I always knew I was fond of him, but... How come I didn’t see it?
“All right,” I say, squeezing his hand.
I lean over him until our heads are practically touching. The closeness might make it easier; I don’t know. He shuts his eyes, his face scrunching up in concentration, and I close mine too until I feel cold air striking my face and the grass beneath us is suddenly replaced by a hard, flat surface. It looks to have once been white, but is now flecked with grey and black stretching out to all sides and I can’t believe what I’m seeing. Is that a.. It can’t be a building? It’s all glass and metal and towers above us, stinging my eyes.. There’s a noise, a harsh humming sound and I look up. What in God’s name is that thing? No bird flies like that. It’s coming closer, frightful shrieking screaming in my ears and I crouch over Hiro, shielding him, but it passes us by.
“Carp? Where is this place?”
He doesn’t look frightened, but clearly something’s gone wrong, for he’s looking about with a worried expression.
“Oops.”
“Hiro? Do you know where we are?”
“New York. I think.” His voice is growing weaker. “Funny it’s not the Deveaux building...”
He trails off, his eyelids fluttering and he falls against my chest.
“Hiro! No, don’t go to sleep. You have to stay with me. Please, stay with me!”
I’m shaking him, but he doesn’t move, he doesn’t talk, he doesn’t do anything! He’s breathing, his chest is rising and I feel his pulse beating against my hand, but it’s frail. He doesn’t have long. The wound is still bleeding. Why in God’s name won’t it stop bleeding? There’s no doctor, no help to be gotten here. We’re trapped and he’s dying, dying right in front of me and I can do nothing! I’ve been shot, stabbed, burned, run through and lived, but I can’t keep the man I love from dying in front of me. And I do love him. He’s the most important being in the entire world. Why isn’t till now that I realized how precious you truly are? Please, carp, don’t die. Don’t leave me.
Something scrapes the floor behind me and I reach for my sword, but it’s not in its scabbard. I left it in that bastard samurai’s gut. I turn, sticking close to Hiro, and I see... Me.
This is not possible. It must be a hallucination, a mirage, some illusion concocted by my preoccupied mind. I can’t be here and five feet away at the same time. But that face... It’s my face, my eyes, my nose, my mouth, my hair. And those clothes... They’re like Hiro’s clothes when he arrived in Japan. This is not... It can’t be... I want to grab Hiro and run.
“Are you a demon? A ghost? Am I going mad?”
I feel my blood frost in my veins as he looks at me.
“Not yet.”
What the hell is that supposed to mean? Bugger it, I don’t want to know. He seems more interested in Hiro than me, raking his eyes over his body with a fascination that frightens me. He steps forward and I jump up, blocking his way.
“Stay back!” I shout, bracing myself for a fight if he even thinks about coming near Hiro.
He raises his hands in a conciliatory gesture. “Relax. I’m you. Your future self. It seems he brought you here by accident.”
My future self? It can’t be. This must be centuries after my time. I couldn’t have lived this long. But he knows about Hiro. And he’s... Well, a mirror couldn’t produce a more faithful image.
“What year is this?” I ask, already wary of the answer.
“1977.”
My mind stutters. I run the number in my head again, the amount too large to contemplate.
“That’s... that’s 300 years.”
“Yes. Quite a long time. And yet the clock still has to run a little further before we reach his time. He hasn’t been born yet.”
He’s looking at Hiro, scrutinizing him, and I think I see nostalgia in his eyes, my eyes, but something dark slithers across his face.
Oh God, Hiro! I just left him lying on the ground. How could I do that? He’s still breathing, but it’s faint. I have to lay my hand completely over his mouth to feel it. Weak, so weak. The blood flow’s slowed down, a bad sign. By now, there’s more blood outside than there’s in.
“Help me,” I call behind me, but he doesn’t do more than crouch down beside me and keep observing Hiro as if this were some faraway event that had nothing to do with him. Why is he just sitting there?
“He’s bleeding to death!”
He turns to me, but he gives me nothing.
“If you’re me, why aren’t you helping me save him?”
“Because I’m not you anymore.”
I’m chilled. I’ve never felt his cold. He lifts his hand and I immediately reach out to stop him, but he’s only touching Hiro’s forehead, just a simple touch, stroking gently with the back of his fingers. Hiro doesn’t react as the hand—my hand— descends down his face.
“He made you who you are,” he says. “Then he made me.”
What does that mean? I’d ask, but it’s doubtful that I’d ever get a straight answer from this bizarre apparition.
“He’s stopped breathing:”
“What?”
I reach out for Hiro’s throat, feeling around frantically for a pulse, but there’s nothing! Nothing! No, this isn’t happening, this isn’t happening.
“His heart isn’t beating, either.”
Shut up! Please don’t die, carp, please don’t die. Please!
“Soon, if it hasn’t done so already, his brain will shut down and end all activity.”
He sounds like a purser reading accounts. I glare at him, disgusted. This can’t be me. I don’t care if it is a demon or a torment of my own imagination, but it’s not me.
“He’s... He’s...”
I won’t say it. Oh God, Hiro. You can’t be. You can’t be d... De... No. no no no no no.
“Carp, please open your eyes. Please, you can’t leave me. You can’t, please!”
I crush him to me, wrapping my arms tight around his body, and bury my face in his neck, but there’s no pulse, no breath, no life. Why? Why can you die while I live? I want to press your heart against mine and pump my life into you. All of it. Every drop of my blood I’d give to you.
A touch on my shoulder.
“Get away!”
I shove his hand away. How dare he touch me now when he was just sat there all that time not doing a damn thing and now Hiro’s dead? But he grabs my arm, the fucking bastard.
“Let go of me!”
I punch him. Well, I try to, but he ducks and I graze his shoulder. I want to hit him, to maim, to rip away that mask that dares to call itself by my name and tear it to shreds. I can’t take it! He grabs my wrist, pressing close to me and I let go of Hiro as I lift my left hand and this time my fist does connect, pounding through skin that heals in a second. I hit him again, breaking his nose. It doesn’t feel good. It doesn’t feel like anything. The world has turned grey and dull and shivering and I can’t even taste the tears on my lips. Pain thunders in my stomach and as I fight for breath, I’m suddenly on the ground with him on top of me, trapping my wrists against the floor. I struggle, trying to twist away, but he won’t stop staring at me with those falcon eyes pecking me with iron claws.
“Listen to me.”
“Get the hell off me!”
“Listen!”
I stop moving. I don’t like the way he’s looking at me. It’s like he’s trying to crawl inside my skin and dissect me from the inside out.
“300 years ago, Hiro Nakmura betrayed me.”
“Hiro wouldn’t. He’d never...”
“Shut up and listen. He betrayed me as he would have betrayed you if he lived. I am what you would become if the original story where to come to pass. He’s not the good friend you imagine. If he were, he’d never have done what he did. If he were too live, he’d probably do it again. But something makes me wonder. You see, this...”
He nods towards Hiro lying beside us. Oh God, I can’t look at him.
“This never happened before. Hiro was never mortally injured; he never accidentally teleported us to the future. Which means that something has changed.”
“What’s your point?”
“You have a choice. It’s been a long time since I dared hope for anything. You’ve only lived a few years; you don’t see the world the way I do. I see darkness that never lifts, anger and fear and pain never ending. Light doesn’t last for more than a second before it’s snatched away again. Perhaps what I’m going to tell you now won’t change a thing in the long run, but there’s a possibility, slim as it seems to me now, and so I’ll tell you. You can save him.”
What? How dare he say such things after what happened?
“You bastard. He’s already dead!”
Oh God, I just said it.
“He doesn’t have to stay dead.”
“What devilry is it you speak? No one has power over death. No one save—“
“God. And you.”
Wait. What? That’s mad. I can heal, but... Heal from any wound. Carp said that. But surely I can’t also heal others, can I?
“But it’s not possible. It can’t be.”
He lets go of my hands and sits beside me. I straighten up, desperate, but I don’t dare to hope yet. It hurts too much to hope.
“You’re not a normal man,” he says. “You know this. So why do you question it? You have been gifted above all others with the dominion over life and death. Not even most gods have that power.”
“Then why did you just stand there when he was dying?”
I turn to Hiro, see his pale, pale skin, growing cold and hard even now, his life banished.
“Then why didn’t you save him then? If you were me, surely you know what this is.” I put my hand tight against my heart, feel it thundering. “This burn, this ache nailed in my soul. Just breathing hurts.”
He looks surprised. Why is that? Surely he must know what I mean. Doesn’t he?
“You didn’t realize that you loved him until now.”
I’m missing something. He looks down at Hiro and finally I detect a softness in his eyes, a nostalgia that definitely wasn’t there before. Or maybe he was hiding it.
“I didn’t realize until he kissed her.”
“What?”
He avoids my eyes.
“That was his betrayal.”
Wait. Waitwaitwaitwait.
“Her? You mean Yaeko?”
He nods. “He claimed to love her.”
But... That doesn’t make any sense.
“But he wants me to love her. All he talks... talked about was me becoming a hero and loving my princess. He... Why would he...”
“I don’t have an answer for that. According to him, it was an accident.”
No. This isn’t real. It’s madness. Hiro wanted me to fall for Yaeko, but I fell in love with him, but then he fell in love with Yaeko and now he’s dead and I’m talking to myself, or someone who used to be myself and I can’t take any more of this. I feel dizzy. The world is spinning. I knew that the only love he harbored towards me was that of friendship, but this... this... Why did this happen?
“You wanted revenge,” I say, not looking up from the hands covering my face. “That’s it, isn’t it?”
“I did. Right up to the moment when you showed up.”
“But you don’t anymore?”
I lift my head a bit and see him stroking Hiro’s face again, brushing his thumb over his cheek. It’s so much like the caress he delivered earlier, when there was still warmth in his body.
“No.”
A tug in his throat. That’s what his voice is. His hand is gentle as it sweeps over Hiro’s neck. Yet he let him die. Even if Hiro did what he said he did, I could never wish him harm. It scares me that I could become so cold.
“Tell me.” I slide closer to him, closer to Hiro, who may not have to stay dead, who might live like I lived after those arrows pierced my chest. My head feels light. Hope. I never thought I could hope again, but if he was telling the truth, then... “Tell me how to save him. Please. If you weren’t lying to me, and you better not have been, because I don’t care what you are, I’ll—“
“There’s no need for threats.”
He lifts his head, clearly annoyed, but I don’t care. This is too important.
“I’ll show you,” he says. “It’s very simple.”
He takes something out of his pocket. It’s a silver folding knife. As he pulls out the blade, I realize what the trick is.
“Hold out your hand.”
I do as he asks. It’s not like he can permanently hurt me. He cups my hand in his and brings down the blade. I hiss as it digs into my flesh, carving a long line from knuckle to wrist. Just because I’ve gotten used to the pain doesn’t mean that it doesn’t hurt. He keeps the knife inside, spreading the wound open as he pulls me toward Hiro. He presses my hand on the now silent gash in his side, drawing out the blade at the last second. It’s my blood, isn’t it? The key element? I look at him, excited, terrified. What if this doesn’t work? What if Hiro never gets up again despite my offering? Then I feel something shifting under my palm, like a little worm wriggling under my skin.
“Do I keep my hand here?” I ask. “Should I move away? I don’t know.”
“Did you feel the wound close?”
The wound close? Is that what that sensation was?
“That should be enough, then. You can lift your hand if you want.”
I do so and the cut is gone, Hiro’s skin as smooth and perfect as a baby’s. I touch it with the tips of my fingers and I almost shout. He’s warm. He was cold when I first touched him, but now he’s warm again. I feel it spreading over his torso, climbing up his arm, drifting to his fingers. Life, new life. I gave Hiro life! My life. The lightest pink flush returns to his cheeks. I’m crying again. I drop my head on his chest, flattening my ear over his heart. He’s so warm now that he’s practically sweltering. I close my eyes, concentrating. Come on, come on.
Thump.
It’s beating. Oh, my God, it’s beating! His chest rises, squeezing against my face. Breath, blessed breath. I hear it whistling in his throat, growing stronger, and suddenly he jerks up, crashing against me, his eyes open, frowning as they fix on me.
“Kensei?”
I throw my arms around him, calling his name over and over again, feeling his warmth and breath and life. He’s alive. My Hiro is alive!
“What is it?”
His hands are hesitant on my back, but they’re real, living fingers and I’m so happy my heart is skipping inside my chest.
“My side doesn’t hurt anymore. What happened?”
How stupid of me. He doesn’t know anything and here I am almost strangling him by holding him so tightly. I pull back, still clinging to his shoulders, but leaving him space to breathe. I laugh. I’m so giddy. I pat his arms, his sides, his torso, every bit of him so warm and pliant and alive and I’m saying that word too much, but I can’t stop feeling how precious a gift it really is. He’s staring at me like I’ve gone mad. I better explain before he starts believing it.
“You were dead,” I whisper, my voice is too strangled to produce anything louder.
“Dead?!” he squeaks, that adorable shocked look taking over his face. God, I love him so much.
“I brought you back. My blood... I put some in your wound and it healed and you came back.”
“But... I couldn’t have been dead.”
He’s shaking his head, his eyes wide. He pulls at his clothes, lifting the torn fabric over where the wound used to be, now gone. His hand slides over the perfectly hale skin and he looks up at me, amazed.
“You gave me your blood,” he says.
“Yes.”
“You can heal others? And I was... dead?”
I nod, squeezing his shoulders. He grips my left arm, regarding me with the utmost admiration.
“You really are a godsend.”
There’s reverence in his voice. I shake my head. I’m not the one who deserves praise.
“You’re the godsend, Hiro. I wouldn’t be anyone without you.”
He smiles, beautiful smile, but I can’t tell him what I really feel. The smidgen of hope that might have once existed in my heart has been effectively destroyed by what I’ve learned today from my own lips. I’d forgotten about him. But that other me is no longer next to us. Suddenly, Hiro stiffens, looking sharply over my shoulder and I turn around.
“Kensei? There’s another you.”
He’s standing over five feet away. Why is he all the way over there? And why does he look like a squall’s coming over the horizon? He’s trembling, shaking badly if I can spot it from this distance. His breath is loud and tremulous, just like mine was a few minutes ago. The cold statue of a man I’ve been talking to has vanished, and despite how much he bothered me, this abrupt shift is even more unsettling.
“Hello, Hiro.”
His voice is so soft I hardly hear it. Why is he so afraid?
“What year is this?” Hiro asks, and I reply with that mad year the other me gave me, only he says it at the same time, our voices matching syllable for syllable. A smile peeks on Hiro’s lips as he looks at each of us.
“You look like twins,” he says. “Not like when I... Well, never mind.”
“When you what?” I ask.
He looks worried. I shouldn’t have asked.
“I went to the future once, my future and met myself.”
He what? What is this supposed to be, some sort of déjà vú in reverse?
“I was very different.”
He is very different. I almost say it, but I don’t want to risk bringing up any of the things we discussed earlier. It’d be best if we left now, before he has a chance to see what I could become. But I won’t. I’ll never be like him. I don’t care if... Even if Hiro does ...that... I won’t. I already lost him once. I could never bear to go through that again.
“But I really shouldn’t talk about that,” Hiro continues. “Not that it really affects anything now, but... I don’t know.”
“It’s all right,” I reassure him. “You don’t have to talk about anything you don’t want to.”
Too eager to please, perhaps, but he smiles, something he came so close to never doing again and I want to hold him and tell him what I truly feel, but I can’t. There’s no chance of him returning my sentiments. My hands fall away from his shoulders as he stands up, stumbling a bit as he gets his feet under him, but his movements are perfectly healthy and able. I stand as well, keeping by his side, close enough that our arms brush together and I feel his living warmth against me. The other me hasn’t moved. He’s pulled that detached mask over his face again, but it’s cracking at the edges. Something stirs in his eyes a cross between worry and something I can’t identify, and I inch closer to Hiro, which is foolish, because he’s not going to hurt him, not after he let him live, but I can’t trust him.
“I think it’d be better if we went back now,” Hiro says, voicing my own thoughts and I nod, but then the other me’s eyes catch mine for a second and I realize what that look means. He’s rushing towards him and I know what he’s going to do, but my body won’t move and he’s already in front of Hiro, pulling him towards him and oh God he just kissed him. I’m watching myself kiss Hiro. Mouth to mouth contact. My mouth and his mouth and there’s no getting out of this now.
“I love you.”
He said it. I can’t believe he said it. Hiro’s gaping at him, completely astonished and this is bad, bad, bad. His eyes fly between us, seeking some response from me, but my tongue is stuck to the roof of my mouth.
“I love you.”
He said it again. Doesn’t he see the unease on Hiro’s face? There’s no fixing this. If Hiro rejects us, (and of
course he will, why on God’s earth would he not), our friendship will no longer exist.
“He won’t say it.”
He’s talking again. Shut up, shut up, shut up!
“He’s too afraid.”
You’re damn right I’m afraid. How can he can just go around saying it as if it were nothing?
“Just like I was. I didn’t mention anything the first time, three centuries ago, because I never dreamed even of the possibility that I might be so lucky as to have your love, not merely as a friend, but as a lover.
Even now I have doubt, but something tells me that I’m not wrong in having told you.”
Something does? What is he seeing that I’m not? Although Hiro hasn’t recoiled or lashed out, but I assume that to be shock. No, I couldn’t be that lucky, could I? Then again, he’s been my good luck charm for everything else, maybe... No, it’s too much to ask for.
“I... I don’t know...” Hiro stutters.
Wait. He doesn’t know? Not “you disgust me” or “you’re depraved” or any of the damming condemnations I’ve had spit in my face?
“I mean...,” he continues. “Everything’s so sudden. I died and then there’s two of you and now you tell me that you love me. You.”
He’s looking at me, stepping closer and I want to flee, but there’s such a need in Hiro’s eyes to understand and I can’t deny him anything.
“If he’s saying it, that means that you also feel that way, right?”
Time for truth. I have to respond.
“Yes.”
He gazes at me, not speaking. Please, carp say something. Punch me, condemn me, anything, just say something.
“You don’t love Yaeko?”
I shake my head, my mouth stumbling on that other question I really don’t want answered.
“Do you?”
“What? Where did... How did... No. I may be a little attracted to her, but no more than to...well... you.”
Stunned. I’m completely stunned. Did he just say that he’s attracted to me? Me? He desires me?
“Do you really mean that?” I ask.
Say yes, please say yes.
“Yes.”
He’s all red. Hiro’s blushes are always sincere, even when he’s trying to hide something and I knew that the other me standing there couldn’t have had the whole story straight and here’s the proof.
“I mean, you’re my hero,” he continues and I lean forward, starved for his words. “I think I’ve always had a bit of a crush on you. Not that that’s the only reason why I like you!”
His rush to clarify that is so endearing and I know he’s telling the truth.
“But you do like me.” I say, a stupid grin taking over my face.
“It’s not love. At least not yet. With a little time, maybe. It’s just so unexpected. You’re not supposed to like men. Although you weren’t supposed to be a drunk, either and yet I still can’t get you to spend the nights sober, so, really, I shouldn’t be so surprised--”
I grab him by the shoulders and he quiets down, peeking up at me. He’s nervous. So am I. I’ve survived storms at sea and hand to hand combat, but I don’t think I’ve ever been this scared before.
“Can I kiss you?” I ask. No question has ever been so important.
He blinks once, twice, then a bright smile dawns on his lips.
“Yes. OK.”
I lift my hand to his face. His skin is soft under my fingers, his warmth soaking into my flesh as I stroke down his jaw. His breath catches, quivering in anticipation as he tilts his face up. I lean down, finally touching his lips with mine and a gush of joy rushes through me. I’m kissing him, my Hiro, my love, and he’s kissing back and it’s perfection. I feel his pulse strong against my chest as I press against him, drinking in his unique scent. His arms tighten around my back and I venture the slightest flicker of tongue over his bottom lip. He gasps and I smile against his mouth. After I pull away he licks his lip exactly in the spot where I touched him, tasting me, and I almost kiss him again. I catch the eye of the other me, and say,
“Thank you.”
Adam's POV
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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This was amazing. What an incredibly intriguing premise! The plot was really, really engaging and interesting, and I was sucked in immediately. I was on the verge of actually, physically flailing the entire time. I LOVED IT SO MUCH! :DDD
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Several lines I especially wanted to hug:
“Just lie still. I’ll take care of you. You take care of me. Now it’s my turn, right?”
“He won’t say it.”
He’s talking again. Shut up, shut up, shut up!
“He’s too afraid.”
You’re damn right I’m afraid. How can he can just go around saying it as it were nothing?
"It’s not love. At least not yet. With a little time, maybe."
Mehugras. *beams* I shall be grinning all day because of this...it's lovely...
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I just. Yes. So much.
When he's all panicking and losing Hiro and being totally appalled by future him, I think it went both ways. Adam could see the man he was, and could see how he must look, like a monster, and I think that's why he helped, why he saved Hiro. Some kind of redemption.
And Kensei's joy over having Hiro back, oh. I want to squish them both. And Adam saying what he knows Kensei won't! Just, you know. Love.
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“If you’re me, why aren’t you helping me save him?”
“Because I’m not you anymore.”
Shivers.
“I went to the future once, my future and met myself.”
He what? What is this supposed to be, some sort of déjà vú in reverse?
“I was very different.”
Aaah! Crazy parallels!
The only thing I don’t get, and which I think is a little part of the reason I have trouble shipping Hiro in general, is the language stuff. Are they speaking Japanese? Has his English gotten that much better from hanging out with Kensei? He’s just so fluent and casual… it’s a bit of a shock, but it does make it a lot easier to read and ship.
I really liked this. Thanks.
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It was very interesting to write the two POVs for Adam/Kensei, since they are so very different. Adam is so jaded and mired in thoughts of revenge that seeing his past self is a big wakeup call.
I will admit to forgetting about the language thing sometimes, which is a failure on my part, since it is important. I think Hiro's English is constantly improving, but it really wouldn't be up to fluent level. I get the impression, though, that he and Kensei used it a lot to communicate, since in canon most of their conversations are in English and Kensei would no doubt yearn to speak in Englsih with someone.
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One tiny issue, because I'm in the habit of concrit, is Hiro's speech patterns. Speech patterns aren't easy, and you've got his personality down, which is the important thing, but his speech in this is a little to western, e.g. he wouldn't say "Yeah, sure." He doesn't say "Yeah." He says "yes," maybe "OK."
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I like concrit, so thank you for that. I'll admit to not beeing all to familiar with Japanese culture other than some things I've learned here and there, which makes me really nervous when writing Hiro and Ando, so any little bit helps.
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The thing about Hiro's speech patterns is that it depends if he's speaking in English or Japanese, which I realize isn't always clear in fics. If he's talking in English, then it would apply, but he's talking in Japanese, then the dialogue would technically be translation, so it wouldn't really apply.
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I can't wait for the next part!
But how do I get him there? If I don’t keep pressure on the wound, he’ll bleed to death and it’d be my death, only I could never come back from that.
*cries*
“New York. I think.” His voice is growing weaker. “Funny it’s not the Deveaux building...”
*sigh* Privately I think the Roof is on top of a Rift in Time-and-Space, and NYC needs its own Torchwood team … I’ll credit you!
“Are you a demon? A ghost? Am I going mad?”
I feel my blood frost in my veins as he looks at me.
“Not yet.”
Hee … huggles
the MasterAdam.He seems more interested in Hiro than me, raking his eyes over his body with a fascination that frightens me. He steps forward and I jump up, blocking his way.
*sporfles* Self-cest is icky! *giggles*
“Stay back!” I shout, bracing myself for a fight if he even thinks about coming near Hiro.
Good instinct, past-self!
Shut up! Please don’t die, carp, please don’t die. Please!
“Soon, if it hasn’t done so already, his brain will shut down and end all activity.”
He sounds like a purser reading accounts. I glare at him, disgusted. This can’t be me. I don’t care if it is a demon or a torment of my own imagination, but it’s not me.
*shivershivershiver*
“You didn’t realize that you loved him until now.”
I’m missing something. He looks down at Hiro and finally I detect a softness in his eyes, a nostalgia that definitely wasn’t there before. Or maybe he was hiding it.
“I didn’t realize until he kissed her.”
Whoooo …
Wait. Waitwaitwaitwait.
“Her? You mean Yaeko?”
He nods. “He claimed to love her.”
But... That doesn’t make any sense.
Correct! Much of S2 went like that!
“You were dead,” I whisper, my voice is too strangled to produce anything louder.
“Dead?!” he squeaks, that adorable shocked look taking over his face. God, I love him so much.
*SQUEE*
“I went to the future once, my future and met myself.”
He what? What is this supposed to be, some sort of déjà vú in reverse?
*sporfles*
“I was very different.”
He is very different.
In FYG everyone gets hot and badass. Kensei/Adam is already both.
and I inch closer to Hiro, which is foolish, because he’s not going to hurt him, not after he let him live, but I can’t trust him.
Oh, Adam will HURT Hiro … just not physically at first … and certainly never kill him!
and oh God he just kissed him. I’m watching myself kiss Hiro. Mouth to mouth contact. My mouth and his mouth and there’s no getting out of this now.
HOT!
“I... I don’t know...” Hiro stutters.
Wait. He doesn’t know? Not “you disgust me” or “you’re depraved” or any of the damming condemnations I’ve had spit in my face?
*cries*
“I mean...,” he continues. “Everything’s so sudden. I died and then there’s two of you and now you tell me that you love me. You.”
Such is the life of a Time Lord, Hiro!
He gazes at me, not speaking. Please, carp say something. Punch me, condemn me, anything, just say something.
Ooooooo …
Did he just say that he’s attracted to me? Me? He desires me?
EVERYONE desire you, David Anders!
It’s just so unexpected. You’re not supposed to like men. Although you weren’t supposed to be a drunk, either and yet I still can’t get you to spend the nights sober, so, really, I shouldn’t be so surprised--”
Perhaps Kensadam is … bisexual. *le gasp* I mean, Capt. Jack’s immortal and hot and he’s bi! (Technically he’s pan but you get the picture …)
I grab him by the shoulders and he quiets down, peeking up at me. He’s nervous. So am I. I’ve survived storms at sea and hand to hand combat, but I don’t think I’ve ever been this scared before.
“Can I kiss you?” I ask. No question has ever been so important.
*SQUEE*
I catch the eye of the other me, and say,
“Thank you.”
Oh dear … how does ADAM view this?
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Ahem. First of all, may I offer my extreme thanks that you informed me there was a happy ending before I read this? Because OMG OW.
Your prose is gorgeous as always, the descriptions flawless. This was a really beautiful piece, love.
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I had to remind myself constantly that this had a happy ending as I was writing the first part, because it was seriously painful. I had to stop a few times because my brain hurt.
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Oh how I love that line. This and the story from Adam's POV are awesome. Great job.
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