Well, don't I feel awkward

[guanin]

I went to my niece's kids's baptism today (my great-nephews). Yes, I can be 24 and have great-nephews. These things happen, especially in a family as voluminous as mine. I've been an aunt since the age of two, or maybe earlier, but I'm just counting my first cousin's right now. Anyway, before I bore you all to tears, I'll get to the point. Which is that there were kids everywhere. Little ones. This I can handle very well if I'm related to them. If I'm not, my fingers start curling at the first wail. But what made me feel so uncomfortable was all the baby gushing. I felt so out of place. As far as I know the only other person in my family who doesn't like kids is my cousin Raúl, and he actually has one! Emphasis on one, as he pointed out once. Most people know by now that I don't like kids and have thankfully quit shoving them in my face, but I still felt so alone. I don't want to have kids for various reasons, emotional and rational (though my not liking them is enough). The planet has gone beyond its carrying capacity, for one thing. But you can't even mention that to most people with kids, because they'll just think you're weird and keep saying, "You'll change your mind" as if I didn't have strong feelings on the subject and were simply a slave to some biological urge that I don't even feel. I don't tell you not to have kids (although if you already have two and are talking about a third, like one of my cousins was doing today, I will get nervous. Actually, these days, two is already too much. Reminder; ailing planet). I get why for some people it's the most wonderful thing in the world the same way that I get why some people like pink. That doesn't mean that I ever will.

I had more that I wanted to say, but now I can't remember what. I wrote 2,400 words yesterday. I'm finally going to start working on the fourth chapter of Resistance is Futile today now that my friends have returned to Puerto Rico (sorry I'm so late on that). My Dad gets here tonight. It's hot and my mood is set on sad due to both hormones and real life, but I'm finally writing again, and that cheers me up. I don't feel like I'm fulfilling my purpose if I'm not writing (I've been meaning to write a meta on that for ages). Huh, it seems that I did think of stuff to say.

Random thought: Why does a piece of the Dark Knight score keep reminding me of 28 Days Later?

Comments

[visiblemarket.livejournal.com]

Yes, I can be 24 and have great-nephews. These things happen, especially in a family as voluminous as mine.

Ah, I love Latino families, don't you? I don't know if I've gotten them yet, but I've been an aunt (technically, and once removed) since before I was born, so it's just a matter of time.

This I can handle very well if I'm related to them. If I'm not, my fingers start curling at the first wail.

Yeah, I can't even deal with the ones I'm related to. Actually, especially ones I'm related to. Huh. I mean, I deal with kids a lot at work, so I can, you know, deal with kids, but like them? Never.

.ut you can't even mention that to most people with kids, because they'll just think you're weird and keep saying, "You'll change your mind" as if I didn't have strong feelings on the subject and were simply a slave to some biological urge that I don't even feel.

It's like when I told one of my friends, straight out, that I never wanted to have kids. And she was like, "...okay?" And then it seemed like she'd gotten the idea, and would stop bugging me about it, then comes out with, "But you want to adopt, right?" *headdesk* Kind of missing the point there, people. I don't want children.

Random thought: Why does a piece of the Dark Knight score keep reminding me of 28 Days Later?

Because of Cillian Murphy's three second's worth of wasted screen-time in Dark Knight, maybe?

[guanin.livejournal.com]

I don't really know why I don't automatically wince when one of my nephews/nieces cries. It doesn't make sense. I will after more than two minutes, but I have a certain time range before I start going nuts, which is good because the amount of kids these people have is insane. I don't deal with most of them much, except for the ones I see a lot, which is no more than once every two weeks, anyway, so I can handle it. But I have been known to flee the house when it gets to be too much. That's what Raul does. He doesn't even go to most these get togethers because of the kids. I go to see my cousins, but it's impossible to talk to these people anymore with a kid always in the middle. I just concentrate on the fact that when these kids grow up they'll be cool to hang out with.

Because of Cillian Murphy's three second's worth of wasted screen-time in Dark Knight, maybe?

He was on for way too little time, wasn't he? It was almost pointless. But no. There's 40 seconds in the last track of the album that really resembles the song that's playing in the scene where the infected are attacking the soldiers. It's not the same, but that scene keeps coming to my mind whenever I hear it.

[tju-tju-tju-tju.livejournal.com]

I feel ya about the kids thing. I mean, babies are cute and all, but I don't want one. Ever. I fear the day when people will start demanding that I have five thousand kids for the good of "society". Since when does the world need more people? And I don't ever want to get married, either, so I'll be hit with a double whammy there...

Anyway, my condolences about being around Teh Childrenz.

[guanin.livejournal.com]

The irony is that, in the long run, it'd be better for society if more people didn't have kids. At this rate, we're going to end up like in one fo those futuristic movies where it's all one mega city with no nature left. Marriage is also not for me. I think it's my historical mentality that prevents me from seeing any romance in it, which is a very recent interpretation. I see finances and societal connections, especially for the rich people. It protects the kids interest if there are any, I suppose, but since that isn't the case here... The marriage laws also suck if you're a woman. One of my friends, who's studying law, told us not to get married because it was a legal disaster, especially if it ends in divorce. I really don't see the point in dealing with any of that.